I have been married for 31 years, with two grown children. I’m an excited grandmother that has 2 step grandchildren and two biological grandchildren. That’s four! So that means I’m four times the grandmother!
I was excited about this course because I heard Pat say, “It’s what we do not what we take.” I’m on fire and all about empowering myself and others in achieving the best possible life and having the JOY living it.
First and foremost I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I’m still alive today only by the grace of GOD! I’m in recovery for Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Depression, eating disorders, childhood abuse, sexual addiction, and much more. My name is Melanie.
My childhood was full of physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse. My mother was a workaholic and my father was an alcoholic. I was a bully in high school because no one could hurt me at school, but at home it was different. I had my first meltdown Dec 4, 2004. I was 35 years old. I was in and out of the hospital for 4 years for not taking my meds and undesirable behavior. I ate for any reason: mad, sad, or glad. I got up to 375 pounds. I had many issues throughout the years including: mental disorders, eating disorders, and abuse.
I moved away from dad, mom, and all the abuse at age 18. I surrounded myself with people who showed me love, compassion, forgiveness, and a positive attitude. Two people very important to me told me that God had the power to change things if I wanted him to. I just had to surrender to HIM. They held the hope for me when I couldn’t hold it for myself. My weight kept me from activities with my children. I was a walking heart attack waiting to happen. I should have died before age 40. Keeping my hurts, habits, and hang-ups a secret didn’t help me to be honest with God, myself, or others.
Inside, I needed healing in my soul. So I began to attend Celebrate Recovery. Outside, I apply God’s word, self-care, coping skills, mindfulness exercises, meditation, prayer, journaling, and attend CR small group on a regular basis. Today, I have forgiven my dad and mom for all the abuse in my childhood. I have forgiven myself for all the imperfections in life. I have a med box to keep me on track and consistent and I fill my mind with the Lord continuously regarding my mental health. I have lost 250 pounds and have kept it off for 3 years. Now, I open up to my family, friends, church and peers to keep me transparent. I will no longer be isolated and silent about my issues. When I’m wrong I admit it and ask for forgiveness. I consciously renew my mind 3 times a day everyday with God and positive thoughts. All this and much more is what Pat Deegan calls “conspiracy of hope”. Glory be to Christ for all that HE has done for me. Come alongside me to discover OUR conspiracy of hope together.